VEGETABLES ~

“IT’S SO GOOOOD” VEGETABLE FRIED RICE

Setting the Scene:

Dorothy Gale Robinson, an aspiring actress, is the daughter of hippie parents with

a passion for old movies. When her father is killed suddenly while sipping a non-fat decaf

mocha latte at a local coffee shop, Dorothy’s life is turned upside down. When Dorothy’s

mother decides to sell all her worldly possessions and join a New Age cult headquartered

in Banff, Canada, Dorothy, her boyfriend, Lahrs, and a cult-buster, Mervyn O’Roy

venture from Florida to Canada to recover Dorothy’s mother from the clutches of the

New Age cult. In this scene, Dorothy and Lahrs decide to dine at Ed Wong’s, a restaurant

serving both Chinese and authentic Canadian cuisine.

Excerpt from Hey Dorothy You’re Not in Kansas Anymore:

The Asian man seated us at the window and handed us each a menu - which was

only a small laminated sheet of paper. I didn’t see any Canadian cuisine listed. When the

Asian man came back to take our order, I asked him about the Canadian food. “We have

Alberta beef,” he said. “You like beef? I make you some Alberta beef. It’s so goooo-d.”

“Does anything come with it?” I asked.

“We have rice. You like rice? We have steamed rice and fried rice. The fried rice

is so goooo-d.”

“

Is that the only Canadian dish you have?”

You don’t like beef? This is the best - Alberta beef. You like - you see. I’ll make

“

some for you. And you take some fried rice. And you sir, you like some Alberta beef? Is

so goooo-d.”

Lahrs said, “I think I’ll try the sweet and sour chicken. Is that Alberta chicken?”

“This sweet and sour chicken. It’s so goooo-d. You see. You will like. And you

like some fried rice, too?”

“Yeah. Okay,” said Lahrs.

The Asian Man hurried away with our orders. A few seconds later a young

woman came out and served us water and hot tea. “So much for their authentic Canadian

cuisine,” I said.

“You not like Alberta beef?” Lahrs said, imitating the waiter.

Cooking By The Book