The Quilt Inn Country Cookbook

Aliske Webb

new souffle a la cob. How much time do I have? Then double it or be prepared to

surreptitiously offer the local gourmet store’s version of foie gras as your own. What is

the purpose of the dinner—the meal itself, background to a meeting of volunteers for

a community project, romance? Is anyone allergic to anything? Be secure in the fact

that the guest will probably announce their problem well in advance. That way, you can

be sure that it is indeed an allergy and not an aversion to your style of cooking.

Plan a three course meal that is easy to serve with minimal last minute

attention—unless you want to spend the time in the kitchen rather than visiting. (You did

invite these people, remember.) My experience is that down-home country

cooking—soup or salad, meat with vegetables, and dessert—will satisfy and win over

even the most critical guest. In fact, the more pretentious your meal, the more people

feel they must comment on it, (often negatively behind your back). Unless you are a

chef of fame and notoriety, gracefully accept the fact that the meal in all likelihood will

merely be the backdrop to a sensational evening of mirth and conversation. Unless you

serve everything flambed, people will rarely stop talking to stand and salute your

culinary masterpiece. (They may be standing, nervously, to fetch a fire extinguisher.)

Strike a balance in your meals and don’t expect your guests to eat as if they’ve

plowed “the back forty" before sitting down. You can lighten the load by offering a clear

soup or a small salad as an appetizer, avoiding fatty or deep-fried foods and if the

main course does have heft, offer sherbet instead of tiramisu for dessert. Otherwise,

your guests will have to ask for small portions, (insulting to them—like you’re implying

they should be on a diet), leave some of the meal hidden under the lettuce or piled in

a small lump in the corner, (insulting to you), feed the dog, (....), or deposit their London

Broil in their neighbor’s purse, (insulting, and surprising, to the neighbor). If you’re

going over the top on dessert, announce your intention at the beginning of the meal so

guests can adjust their intake (and belts) accordingly.

Don’t be to light in your servings, though, because small portions will invariably

demand requests for second helpings (thereby denying the benefits of “light” cooking).

No one wants tobe first for seconds. And they cause you as the host to continually jump

up and down out of your chair as if you had a hot seat. Small servings are usually

gazed upon with silence, while the guest asks herself: is this it? Or wonders whether

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Country Cooking