| 120 | 121 | 122 | 123 | 124 |
| 1 | 32 | 63 | 95 | 126 |
|
The Official List of Cooking Skill Levels:
For Women:
0
= No Skill: You often burn water. The microwave hates you. If your husband is a better
cook, he cooks in self-defense - you are, after all, still wanted in three states for starting
salmonella outbreaks. If not, you are probably on a first-name basis with every teenage
kid at every fast-food joint in town.
1
= Poor Skill: You have mastered the intricacies of the microwave. Unfortunately, you
still burn water. If your husband is a better cook than you are, he cooks to stave off
boredom from an endless stream of TV-dinners. If not, you're again on a first-name basis
with all local fast-food clerks.
2
= Mediocre Skill: You can follow a basic recipe if it's a tested one from a nationally
published cookbook, and most of the time the smoke alarms in the house will not go off.
Your husband has only had to call the fire department once, and you have only been
hospitalized for cooking-related injuries three times. If your husband is a better cook than
you, your friends are amazed. If not, you still only occasionally go out to eat - usually
when both hands are bandaged from your last disastrous attempt at Chicken Cacciatore.
3
= Good Skill: You can follow any recipe. You invent your own recipes - and they
sometimes work. You own at least two cookbooks. You have at least one file-folder of
recipes (and it's full). If your husband is a better cook than you, he will never admit it. If
not, he will proudly proclaim to all his friends you are a "Cordon-Bleu" chef -
particularly when you are around and can be easily embarrassed. You have eaten at a
fast-food joint once in your life, and that was only because the kids insisted they wanted a
"Happy Meal".
4
= Excellent Skill: You invent recipes and sell them. You own more cookbooks than
your friends own romance novels. Your husband worships the ground you walk on, and
won't even enter the kitchen, so you've no idea how good a cook he is. Your children still
want a "Happy Meal", however.
For Men:
0
= No Skill: You can tear a broken microwave apart, fix whatever's wrong and put it
back together, but your greatest accomplishment so far in using it is that you haven't
burned down the house yet. If your wife is any better than you, you worship her openly as
a goddess. You used to own a barbecue, but the police confiscated it after the last two
fires you started. You are under court order to take your children to McDonalds at least
once a week, so they'll at least get some kind of nutrition.
1
= Poor Skill: You often argue with your wife that "Mac and Cheese" is a food-group.
You have invented one recipe - for Bean Dip. You own a barbecue and think you're good
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